When I Was 21…I Drank Some Very Good Beer…

29 May

(This is Volume 1 of what will be a continuing series of all my most embarrassing, and therefore entertaining:  “Drinking Stories.” ) 

On January 18th, 1995, a new Woody Allen movie was released.  It was entitled Bullets Over Broadway, and starred John Cusack and a bunch of other people.  Though I myself am a big fan of Woody Allen’s films, I have never seen this movie in it’s entirety, and the following tale may explain why.

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On the day this film was released in the U.S. I was a little less than 3 months into my 21st year on the planet.  At that rather carefree point of my life I had decided first and foremost that I would become a raging alcoholic.  Why you may ask?  I don’t know.  It was the “Grunge Era.”  I wanted to be “cool.”  I wanted to “fit in.”  I wanted to sink into the welcoming abyss of “decadence and depravity.”   It doesn’t mater because I failed miserably.  Though I made a good run at it back then, and I readily admit I still like to “Tie One On” so to speak, I never have quite had the will power to become a full fledged alcoholic.   (I’m just too damned lazy when it comes right down to it, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, it was most likely a Friday and I was going to be off work for a couple days.  (For a brief period of time in the early 90’s I made a living installing carpet and/or vinyl flooring in the homes of complete strangers.  It was a job I didn’t really like all that much even though it was in my blood.  (My Grandfather had done it, my step father had done it, and I thought for a brief moment that I might do it too.  I lasted for about six months, but, again,  that’s another story.)   After another in a long series of days of drudgery I let myself into my tiny little apartment, which was made even more tiny by the clutter of my many belongings, and settled down for a fun and exciting night of I didn’t know what.  (Even then I rarely had an agenda that I was aware of.)   Before long a bunch of people were there, many of them under the age of 21.  A money collection was taken and I went to the party store to purchase something we called (in those days) “A Case of 40’s.”  Our usual drink of choice at that time was something called Old English 800.   The idea of drining such a thing now actually makes me gag a little bit.

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I drank four of them.  At that point there was another knock on the door and it turned out to be my friend Sean.  (Someone I’ve been friends with since we both attended 4th grade, which I guess pretty much makes him my longest continual friend that I’m not related to, and to whom I still talk to from time to time)  He wanted to know if I we were still on to see Bullets Over Broadway.  (I couldn’t remember.)

So I trustingly left the party raging at my apartment and headed off to the movies.  After all, there was a new Woody Allen movie being released!  (And most of my friends could be trusted.  And those that weren’t, could be trusted to be watched over by those that were.)

I clearly remember the opening credits of the movie, which contained, as I recall, a shitload of neon lights and machine gun fired title credits.  (Real classy.)  I immediately turned to Sean and politely announced I was going to the bathroom.

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And then I woke up in a chair in my kitchen.  It was sometime around noon the next day.  I was covered in vomit.   For some time I didn’t know where I was, who I was, why I was.  (The usual aftermath of 4 40’s of OE 800.) The story was of course filled in for me later.  Turns out I never returned from the bathroom.  (Sean realized this after watching the entire movie.  I’d like to point out at this time that the film is some two hours long.)

Anyway, after the movie was long over with, I was discovered, in a bathroom stall, in the men’s room, clinging to a toilet filled with my own puke, with my feet sticking out from under the stall.  (Unfortunately I wasn’t actually wearing high heels, but this was the best picture I was able to Google search.)

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Luckily for me some other people we knew were at the theater that night, and one of them actually went to the trouble of climbing over the dividing wall between the stalls in order to unlock the door, which I had of course locked, and (apparently) I was carried out of the theater, driven home, and then, I have to assume, CARRIED up my rather long and precarious wooden stairway into my apartment and deposited in the aforementioned chair.

I have no memory of any of that last part.

And all this constitutes, I don’t know, maybe my fifth most embarrassing drinking experience.  Stay tuned for more!

3 Responses to “When I Was 21…I Drank Some Very Good Beer…”

  1. thefoodandwinehedonist May 29, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    Oof. I’ve had many run ins with OE800. Thanks for bringing up many non-memories.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Most Embarrassing Drink Story Of All Time: Starring ME! (as Me) | Not Necessarily About Dinosaurs or Anything Else - April 8, 2014

    […] 3rd or 4th most embarrassing drinking story.   Here’s a link to it, in case you missed it:  https://domingosaurusrex.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/when-i-was-21-i-drank-some-very-good-beer/     I know I promised a few others, but all pale in comparison to this: THE most embarrassing […]

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AlyZen Moonshadow

The words and works of AlyZen Moonshadow, digital mixed media photography artist, designer, musician, poet, philosopher, mother, muse, Goddess!

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AlyZen Moonshadow

The words and works of AlyZen Moonshadow, digital mixed media photography artist, designer, musician, poet, philosopher, mother, muse, Goddess!

Are You Finished Yet?

I like to write about stuff. I usually try to be funny. Take it or leave it.

Michael Rios

Sherlock unlocking the past

anewperspectiveperhaps

This site is about everything from my philosophy on life to the little things that make me laugh. IIt is about living, and breathing, and pausing long enough to take it all in. I hope it makes you laugh, sometimes makes you cry, but always makes you want to come back for another visit. It is your words, and your likes that inspire me to keep writing. And it is through my writing that you have a very large window to my soul. Relax awhile, read, and enjoy!

Be Free 2 Love

Soaring through Life, Love, & Happiness: One story at time.

PotatoPen

That's right! I write!

Forty, c'est Fantastique !

La vie est belle !

Mr Tookles

tee hee

The Dependent Independent

TV, movies, books…rants… just trying to put skills to use.

Fictional Kevin

Cigar Fueled Creative Writing

Tubularsock

". . . first hand coverage, second hand news"

Elizabeth Conrad

True stories from a recovering asshole.

jenny's lark

the beauty of an ordinary life

Skinny and Single

Single and Over 40 and Not Suicidal About It

BunKaryudo

Lovingly Hand-Crafted Humor Blog

Life After 50

Life at any age can be amazing! We only need to grab hold & experience it!

Lessons from my daughter

Although all doctors agreed she would do nothing.....

lindaseccaspina

remembers the invention of the wheel

Fiction Favorites

with John W. Howell

Retro Girl & the Chemo Kid

Superpower: love. Adventures through childhood cancer, grief, healing and happiness.

What Rhymes with Stanza?

Words at rest, words at play

Life and Random Thinking

A old dog CAN blog

Fred in Wyo

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Our next Chapter

NestOfSquirrels

Acorns. And scurrying.

The Falling Thoughts

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heretherebespiders

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Mental Defecation

My mind poops here

emmakwall (explains it all)

Film & soundtrack reviews, good humour and lists

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