Not Exactly Another Post About The Republican Presidential Debate, (But Kind Of)

9 Aug

I will admit, I haven’t actually watched the debate.  I was legitimately considering it, only because I thought it would be good for some laughs, and hopefully some blog fodder, but I decided I had better things to do.  Like trying to see if I could detect my fingernails growing if I stared at them long enough.  Or watching 8 straight hours of COPS.  Or attempting to listen to an entire Iron Maiden album.  (I was unable, or unwilling, to do any of those things, as it turned out.)  Besides it seems enough people already had that idea at the same time as I did, and the “Blogosphere” (a word I’m not overly fond of, but oh well, when in Rome…) is already littered with posts about how idiotic Republicans and their so called “Debates” are.  Some of these posts have indeed been hilarious.

Then I decided I was going to create my own “fake news article.”

Here is what I was working on.

DONALD TRUMP ANNOUNCES PLAN TO REMODEL MOUNT RUSHMORE

Publication1

                     Mount Trumpmore

Donald Trump, having. (in his own mind at least), devastated the other Republican presidential hopefuls in Friday night’s “debate,” is now 100% certain he will emerge victorious as our next President.  So certain is he, in fact, that he has already begun to announce some of his intentions for the country as said “President.”  

“The first thing I’m gonna do is fix Mount Rushmore!  Who wants to look at four dead guys all the time?  Dead people are LOSERS!”

Never mind the fact that “winning” a Republican Presidential Debate (which nobody is even saying he did)  would be a lot like pretending you’re handicapped so you can “win” the Special Olympics.

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(Johnny Knoxville did it in a movie in 2005.  This Spanish Basketball team did it for real in 2000.)

I kind of gave up on that too.  I already created a couple of fake news articles, which were fun, but really didn’t seem to generate nearly as much interest as I thought they deserved.  Like this one:

GOD ANNOUNCES PLAN TO EXPAND LAKE MICHIGAN:

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And this one:

HUGH JACKMAN TO STAR IN MADE FOR TELEVISION BIOPIC ABOUT EVEL KNIEVEL

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In both cases I spent more time on manipulating photos than actually writing content.  Personally, I thought both these “Hoax Articles” were absolutely hilarious, but I’ve learned through many disappointments that I am, in fact, my own biggest fan.  (And my own worst critic.  Try to figure out how that works.)

Other than that my day has been pretty routine.  A typical Saturday.  I slept in until about 4:30 in the morning.  Got up. Responded to some e-mails and WordPress/Facebook commentary.  I think the best comment I made all day was on Facebook, when I came up with “If Evolution is real, why is there still such a thing as Donald Trump?”  I eventually got bored with being up, went back to bed, got up again around 8, had a breakfast of steak and mashed potatoes (Which just happens to be the same thing I’d had for dinner the night before.) procrastinated for hours about doing anything productive, went in to work my FINAL Dollar Tree Saturday, (during which nothing even remotely as interesting took place as my FINAL Friday shift there; see last night’s blog for proof) came home, procrastinated for a few more hours about doing anything productive, got around to writing this blog, and now I intend to get moderately intoxicated.

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So there you have it.  Number Nine.  Number Nine.  Number Nine.  Number Nine.  Number Nine. Number Nine.  Number Nine.  Number Nine.

That was another Beatles reference, by the way. That makes 3 Beatles references out of the last 4 blogs I’ve written.  I may have a problem.  Is there any such thing as a “Beatles References Anonymous?”  If not there probably should be, and I will be it’s founding member.  The first step is admitting I have a problem.  (Wiiiinniiiiing!)

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AlyZen Moonshadow

The words and works of AlyZen Moonshadow, digital mixed media photography artist, designer, musician, poet, philosopher, mother, muse, Goddess!

Are You Finished Yet?

I like to write about stuff. I usually try to be funny. Take it or leave it.

Michael Rios

Sherlock unlocking the past

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This site is about everything from my philosophy on life to the little things that make me laugh. IIt is about living, and breathing, and pausing long enough to take it all in. I hope it makes you laugh, sometimes makes you cry, but always makes you want to come back for another visit. It is your words, and your likes that inspire me to keep writing. And it is through my writing that you have a very large window to my soul. Relax awhile, read, and enjoy!

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AlyZen Moonshadow

The words and works of AlyZen Moonshadow, digital mixed media photography artist, designer, musician, poet, philosopher, mother, muse, Goddess!

Are You Finished Yet?

I like to write about stuff. I usually try to be funny. Take it or leave it.

Michael Rios

Sherlock unlocking the past

anewperspectiveperhaps

This site is about everything from my philosophy on life to the little things that make me laugh. IIt is about living, and breathing, and pausing long enough to take it all in. I hope it makes you laugh, sometimes makes you cry, but always makes you want to come back for another visit. It is your words, and your likes that inspire me to keep writing. And it is through my writing that you have a very large window to my soul. Relax awhile, read, and enjoy!

Be Free 2 Love

Soaring through Life, Love, & Happiness: One story at time.

PotatoPen

That's right! I write!

Forty, c'est Fantastique !

La vie est belle !

Mr Tookles

tee hee

The Dependent Independent

TV, movies, books…rants… just trying to put skills to use.

Fictional Kevin

Cigar Fueled Creative Writing

Tubularsock

". . . first hand coverage, second hand news"

Elizabeth Conrad

True stories from a recovering asshole.

jenny's lark

the beauty of an ordinary life

Skinny and Single

Single and Over 40 and Not Suicidal About It

BunKaryudo

Lovingly Hand-Crafted Humor Blog

Life After 50

Life at any age can be amazing! We only need to grab hold & experience it!

Lessons from my daughter

Although all doctors agreed she would do nothing.....

lindaseccaspina

remembers the invention of the wheel

Fiction Favorites

with John W. Howell

Retro Girl & the Chemo Kid

Superpower: love. Adventures through childhood cancer, grief, healing and happiness.

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Words at rest, words at play

Life and Random Thinking

A old dog CAN blog

Fred in Wyo

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Our next Chapter

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Acorns. And scurrying.

The Falling Thoughts

Poems, Poetry Plus Passion

heretherebespiders

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Mental Defecation

My mind poops here

emmakwall (explains it all)

Film & soundtrack reviews, good humour and lists

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