It was bound to happen eventually. Sometimes I just don’t feel like doing something, and when I don’t feel like doing something I usually don’t do it.
The oppressive misery of the never ending Michigan summer continues unabated. Eventually it might cool down a little. At some point we might even get that day or two of “winter” we sometimes get treated to, but I have little faith. Every day my dream of moving to Antarctica seems more and more like a fabulous idea. Very few people, absolutely NO hot days, and to top it all off, there may even be the possibility of having my body taken over and mimicked by an alien life form dead set on taking over the entire human race. Sounds like a dream come true right now.
My crummy mood has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’ve had very little sleep lately. Last night, for instance I was exhausted, and had to get up quite early the next morning, however not only did I have to endure the sensation that i was being baked in an oven, there was an annoying insect, bird or frog of some kind making an incessant noise over and over again, and it sounded like they were right outside my window. (I know what you’re thinking but it wasn’t a cricket. I know what a cricket sounds like, and this wasn’t it. I can actually sleep through cricket noise. In fact I almost find it soothing.) This, on the other hand, was a single, piercing, obnoxious repeating noise. I’ve been racking my brain all day to find a way to describe the sound, but nothing quite captures it. I suppose the closest I can come is a cross between a click and a chirp. So I guess it was kind of like a “Clirp.” It took place, almost without fail about every one and a half seconds. Sometimes it would stop for a couple minutes, and as soon as I thought it was over, it would start again.
CLIRP! CLIRP! CLIRP!!!
I laid in bed, wanting nothing more than to get at least five hours of sleep. My eyes closed tight yet seemingly wide open at the same time. The droning white noise of three fans surrounding my head did nothing to mask the insistent call of the mystery creature.
CLIRP! CLIRP! CLIRP! ………CLIRP!
I tried putting on these great big sound cancelling headphones on (They look like Princess Leia’s hair) but alas, not only was it impossible to fall asleep while wearing them, I COULD STILL HEAR THAT DAMN NOISE!!! (And all I wanted was to try to obtain 4 hours of sleep.)
I developed a real seething hatred for whatever living thing was making this noise. It had to be doing it for no other reason than to torment me. I fantasized about getting my hands on the creature, which I for some reason imagined to be some kind of giant locust, and slowly (yes slowly) crushing the life out of it. A quick death would not do. I longed to tighten my fingers around it’s body slowly while it’s eyeballs bulged and eventually it’s exoskeleton cracked, allowing its yellow guts to drizzle out in all directions as it writhed and withered helplessly to the ground. (And all I wanted was 3 hours of sleep.)
DId it finally stop?
Could it be?
CLIRP! CLIRP! CLIRP! CLIRP! CLIRP!
So that’s how my night went. Here and there I would manage to doze off, only to be awakened again to find that only a few minutes had passed.
Eventually I did fall asleep for a grand total of perhaps 2 and a half hours, yet for some reason, as I sit here not writing a blog, I’m not tired. It may have something to so with the rum that I am consuming, or the fact that I’ve decided at long last to take a night off from contributing a post to my blog, or perhaps it’s the cruel irony that I most likely have to go through it all again tonight.
Also I had to take a drug test today for my promotion at work. Tomorrow night I have absolutely no intention of writing about how awful that was.